How Do Narcissists Treat their Wives
How Do Narcissists Treat their Wives?

Behind closed doors, the charming façade of a narcissist falls away to reveal a much darker reality. Narcissistic husbands are notorious for their manipulative and emotionally abusive behavior towards their wives. So, how do narcissists treat their wives – in public and in private?

In this blog post, we will explore 10 highly disturbing ways how narcissist husbands treat their wives, from distorting reality to creating emotional dependencies and engaging in infidelity.

This eye-opening journey into the hidden world of narcissistic marriages will uncover malicious tactics used by these individuals while also offering coping strategies for wives grappling with such challenging relationships.

Key Takeaways

  • Narcissistic behavior stems from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and can be emotionally abusive, manipulative, and controlling towards wives.
  • Wives of narcissists may experience disorientation, reality distortion, emotional abuse, isolation from support systems, financial dependency, and belittlement.
  • Coping strategies include seeking professional help or building a support system to prioritize emotional stability and self-care. It is essential for wives to recognize the signs of manipulation tactics employed by their partners.
  • Remember that you deserve to live life free from emotional abuse caused by your partner’s narcissistic behavior.

Understanding Narcissistic Behavior

Narcissistic behavior stems from a complex personality disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Individuals with NPD possess an inflated sense of self-importance, crave admiration and validation, have a strong sense of entitlement, and lack empathy for others.

Their grandiose view of themselves often blinds them to the emotional needs and wellbeing of those around them.

To understand the depths of narcissistic behavior, it is crucial to identify some commonly exhibited traits by individuals with NPD. For instance, they may use manipulation tactics like guilt-tripping or silent treatment to control their spouses or exploit their vulnerabilities.

One notable example is the case of Anna who married Tom believing he was her knight in shining armor; however, after some years into their marriage she realized that Tom exhibited various narcissistic patterns like constantly putting her down while exaggerating his achievements.

In unraveling the complexities behind narcissistic behavior lies the key to better understanding how these actions impact wives on a daily basis behind closed doors: emotionally draining experiences that test patience continuously till breaking point becomes inevitable.

How Do Narcissists Treat Their Wives? (10 Disturbing Ways)

Narcissists treat their wives in ways that can be described as emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling. From disorienting and distorting reality to alternately idolizing and devaluing their spouses, the tactics used by these partners can be confusing and traumatic.

#1. Disorientation And Distortion Of Reality

Narcissists are skilled at creating a disorienting and distorted reality for their wives, often using tactics such as gaslighting to manipulate their spouse’s perception of events.

By planting doubt in the mind of their partner, they maintain control over them and keep them constantly questioning themselves and their judgments.

This distortion of reality can also involve rewriting history or blaming the victim for any problems that arise within the relationship. A common tactic used by narcissists is claiming that an issue was caused solely by their spouse’s actions or feelings when, in fact, it was largely due to the manipulative behavior of the narcissist himself.

#2. Create A Dependency

Narcissistic spouses often create a dependency in their relationships to maintain power and control. They may use subtle tactics such as convincing their wives that they are not capable of handling certain tasks or making decisions, thereby fostering insecurity and self-doubt.

Financial dependence is another common tool employed by narcissists. In many cases, the husband takes complete control over household finances, limiting the wife’s access to funds and rendering her financially crippled.

This makes it extremely difficult for her to leave or challenge his behavior since she lacks resources necessary for independence.

#3. Isolate From Support Systems

Narcissists often isolate their wives from friends and family members. They manipulate their wives by making them feel guilty for wanting to spend time without them or accusing loved ones of being a negative influence.

This isolation can be detrimental to the wife’s mental health, as they may lose touch with people who offer support and positivity in their lives. Isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

Wives of narcissists must recognize when they are being isolated and work towards rebuilding relationships with friends and family outside of the marriage.

#4. Emotionally Abuse And Gaslight

Emotional abuse and gaslighting are common tactics used by narcissistic partners against their wives. This involves manipulating the wife’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior in a way that undermines her sense of self-worth and confidence.

Gaslighting is an especially insidious form of emotional abuse where the abuser seeks to make their partner question their own sanity or perception of reality.

Other forms of emotional abuse include constant criticism, blaming the victim for everything that goes wrong in the relationship or even calling them names in public settings.

Narcissists also tend to lack empathy and may invalidate or downplay their partner’s feelings as “overreactions” while insisting on being treated with kindness themselves.

When combined with gaslighting practices it can be extremely harmful to the mental health stability of these women.

#5. View Wife As An Object

Narcissists view their wives as objects that exist solely to serve them. They believe they are entitled to receive attention and admiration from their partners, regardless of whether or not it is reciprocated.

For example, a narcissistic husband may demand that his wife dress a certain way or behave in a particular manner because he thinks it reflects positively on him. He may also try to control her actions and decisions by making manipulative statements like “If you love me, you’ll do this for me.” Such behavior can lead the spouse feeling powerless and trapped in the relationship as if she has lost her sense of self-identity.

#6. Engage In Manipulation Tactics

Narcissistic partners often use manipulation tactics as a way to control their wives. They may twist facts, play mind games, and deceive their spouses into thinking things that are not true.

For example, a narcissistic husband may create false narratives or spread rumors about his wife in order to gain sympathy from others. He might also use financial coercion or threaten divorce as a way of achieving compliance from his spouse.

The overall goal of these manipulative behaviors is for the narcissist to maintain power and control over their partner’s life.

#7. Display An Utter Lack Of Empathy

Narcissistic partners often display a complete lack of empathy towards their wives. They are unable to understand or relate to the emotions and feelings of others, including their spouse.

For example, if a wife shares her struggles with her narcissistic partner, he may respond with indifference or even belittlement.

The lack of empathy from a narcissistic partner can leave wives feeling isolated and emotionally drained.

#8. Criticize And Belittle

Narcissistic partners have a tendency to criticize and belittle their wives. It is one of the most common ways they exert control over them.

This type of behavior can leave the wife feeling inadequate and worthless. The narcissistic partner thrives on this power dynamic as it boosts their ego and makes them feel superior.

In some cases, the criticism can escalate to yelling or name-calling. Narcissists use these tactics to maintain dominance over their spouse while systematically breaking down their self-esteem.

#9. Alternate Between Idolizing And Devaluing Wives

Narcissists have a tendency to alternate between idolizing and devaluing their partners, which can be confusing and emotionally draining for wives. Initially, narcissists view their wives as “perfect” or idealize them to the point of worshiping them.

The devaluation stage involves putting down and criticizing every aspect of the wife’s personality or character- such as demeaning her intelligence, appearance or accomplishments- making her feel unworthy.

The harsh criticism often leaves wives feeling like they are never good enough despite all efforts made.

This kind of behavior is toxic and damaging both psychologically and emotionally; it shatters self-esteem leaving many women feeling weary while some develop depression, anxiety disorders among others mental health issues eventually deteriorating into a deep chasm that may be hard to escape without professional help.

#10. Engage In Infidelity

Narcissistic husbands are often engaging in infidelity due to their insatiable need for attention and admiration. They see themselves as deserving of everything, including multiple partners.

To them, cheating is just another way to boost their ego and sense of power over their wives.

In cases where the wife discovers the infidelity, the narcissistic spouse will typically try to shift blame onto her. He might accuse her of being controlling or jealous while denying any wrongdoing on his part.

This manipulation tactic can lead to emotional instability and mental health issues for the wife who’s trying hard to save a narcissistic marriage.

Coping Strategies For Wives Of Narcissistic Partners

Seeking Professional Help

Getting support from professionals can help wives of narcissistic partners manage the emotional abuse they face. Here are some ways to get professional help:

  1. Look for a licensed therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and trauma
  2. Join support groups or online forums for wives of narcissistic partners
  3. Consider attending workshops or seminars on healing from narcissistic abuse
  4. Seek legal advice from a family lawyer if considering separation or divorce
  5. Consult with a medical professional for any physical symptoms resulting from stress and anxiety.

Building A Support System

It is crucial for wives of narcissistic partners to build a support system that includes trusted friends, family members, and professionals. Here are some ways to build a support system:

  1. Reach out to friends and family who you trust and feel comfortable talking with about your situation.
  2. Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse.
  3. Join local support groups or online communities for women in similar situations.
  4. Consider working with a life coach to gain clarity and develop strategies for coping with your partner’s behavior.
  5. Attend workshops or classes that focus on building self – esteem and confidence.
  6. Reach out to advocacy groups that can provide resources and information on legal options for leaving an abusive relationship.
  7. Find ways to engage in self – care activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as hobbies or exercise.

Remember, building a support system takes time and effort, but it is essential for your emotional well-being and safety.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for wives of narcissistic partners. Here are some helpful tips to get started:

  • Clearly communicate what behaviors are not acceptable and enforce consequences when those boundaries are crossed.
  • Trust your instincts and don’t ignore red flags or warning signs of abusive behavior.
  • Practice self – care and prioritize your own needs, even if it means saying no to your partner’s demands.
  • Seek support from trusted family members, friends, or a therapist who can help you set and maintain healthy boundaries.
  • Establish a plan for safety in case of emergencies or escalation of abusive behavior.
  • Consider therapy or counseling to work on rebuilding self – esteem and learning assertiveness skills.

Remember that setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is necessary for your mental and emotional wellbeing. Don’t let your partner’s narcissistic behavior continue to control and harm you. Take steps towards setting healthy boundaries today.

Practicing Self-Care And Self-Love

One of the most important coping strategies for wives of narcissistic partners is practicing self-care and self-love. Here are some ways to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being:

  1. Nurture Your Body: Engage in activities that help you feel good physically, such as exercise, healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.
  2. Pursue Your Passions: Take time to indulge in hobbies or interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help reinforce your sense of identity and autonomy outside of your relationship.
  3. Connect with Supportive People: Build a network of trusted friends or family members who can offer emotional support, validation, and honest feedback.
  4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear limits on what behaviors or interactions you will tolerate from your partner, and communicate them assertively. Stick to these boundaries even if it means prioritizing your own needs over their demands.
  5. Seek Professional Help: Consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating narcissistic abuse. They can offer guidance on coping strategies, insight into the dynamics of your relationship, and support throughout the healing process.

Remember that self-care is not selfish – it’s essential for maintaining your emotional stability in the face of narcissistic behavior. By prioritizing your own well-being, you can start to regain a sense of agency and control over your life.

Preparing For Separation And Divorce

If you are married to a narcissistic partner and have decided to leave, here are some tips on how to prepare for separation and divorce:

  1. Keep Evidence: Before starting the legal process, gather evidence of your partner’s abuse, infidelity or manipulation tactics such as recordings, texts, emails or witnesses.
  2. Consult with Legal Professionals: Choose an experienced lawyer who specializes in domestic cases to help you navigate the legal proceedings and protect yourself and children financially.
  3. Create a Safe Plan: Make arrangements for your safety by informing trusted friends, family members or shelters about your situation. Have a backup plan in case things escalate or become dangerous.
  4. Take Inventory of Your Assets: compile all jointly owned assets such as bank accounts and property documents so that you can negotiate for your fair share during the divorce proceedings.
  5. Protect Your Credit Score: Close joint credit cards and loans that may incur debt if they continue using them without your knowledge.
  6. Prioritize Your Health and Well-being: Seek professional help to cope with emotional trauma caused by the relationship, practice self-care activities like meditation, exercising or therapy sessions.

Remember that leaving a narcissistic partner is not easy but necessary for your mental health and happiness in life. Stay strong and determined as you take steps towards freeing yourself from their control.


Living with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally devastating for wives. Narcissists create a distorted reality, isolate their partners from support systems, engage in emotional abuse and manipulation tactics, view their wives as objects, and more.

Coping strategies such as seeking professional help, building a support system, setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care and self-love are crucial for the well-being of wives of narcissistic partners.

Remember that you deserve to live life free from emotional abuse and mental health issues caused by your partner’s narcissistic behavior.