How Do You Handle a Narcissist Who Wants Revenge
How Do You Handle a Narcissist Who Wants Revenge?

Dealing with a narcissist who seeks revenge can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

When a narcissist feels injured or slighted, their vindictive tendencies can come to the forefront, leading to manipulative and harmful behavior. And the first question that could pop up in your mind will be: How do you handle a narcissist who wants revenge?

In this comprehensive guide, we will explore how to handle a narcissist who wants revenge, providing actionable advice and in-depth strategies to help you navigate these difficult situations effectively.

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Revenge

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with NPD often have fragile self-esteem and a strong desire for control and admiration from others.

Their sense of self-worth is tied to external validation, making them extremely sensitive to perceived criticism or rejection. When their fragile self-image is threatened, they may react with anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge.

Why Do Narcissists Seek Revenge?

Narcissists seek revenge as a means to regain control, assert dominance, and manipulate others. Their overwhelming need for validation and their obsession with winning make it difficult for them to handle any form of criticism or rejection.

They perceive any slight or disagreement as a narcissistic injury, which triggers their vindictive tendencies. Seeking revenge becomes a way for them to reestablish their power, protect their fragile ego, and regain a sense of superiority.

Tactics to Expect from a Narcissist Seeking Revenge

When dealing with a narcissist who wants revenge, it is crucial to be prepared for the tactics they might employ. By familiarizing yourself with these tactics, you can better understand their manipulative behavior and develop effective strategies to counteract them. Here are the common tactics to anticipate:

Criticism and Blame

Narcissists will go to great lengths to criticize and blame you for their perceived grievances. They may attack your character, point out perceived flaws or mistakes, and magnify any shortcomings to diminish your self-esteem and assert their superiority.

Criticism and blame are powerful tools for a narcissist seeking revenge, as they aim to shift responsibility and control the narrative in their favor.

Undermining Your Authority

A narcissist seeking revenge may actively seek to undermine your authority or competence. They may question your decisions, challenge your expertise, and intentionally sabotage your efforts to make you doubt yourself. This tactic is aimed at eroding your self-confidence and maintaining control over the situation.

Refusing to Cooperate

Deliberate non-cooperation is a common tactic employed by narcissists seeking revenge. They may ignore your requests, withhold information, or intentionally hinder progress in shared endeavors.

By frustrating and obstructing you, they exert control and cause emotional distress. Refusing to cooperate allows them to maintain a sense of power and undermine your ability to achieve your goals.

Public Humiliation

Narcissists may resort to public humiliation as a means of revenge. They may exploit personal or sensitive information, share intimate details without consent, or engage in character assassination through gossip or spreading rumors.

Public humiliation serves to assert power, damage your reputation, and elicit emotional pain. It can be a particularly devastating tactic, as it aims to undermine your self-worth and isolate you from social support.

Taking Control

In their quest for revenge, narcissists may attempt to take control over areas of your life. They may manipulate finances, dictate decisions, or interfere in relationships to assert their dominance and cause emotional turmoil.

By exerting control, they aim to reinforce their superiority and diminish your autonomy. This tactic can make you feel trapped and further erode your sense of agency.

How Do You Handle A Narcissist Who Wants Revenge

Handling a narcissist seeking revenge requires careful consideration and strategic actions. It is crucial to prioritize your well-being, establish strong boundaries, and protect yourself from further harm. Here are ten effective strategies to help you handle a narcissist who wants revenge:

  1. Maintain strict no contact.
  2. Block their phone number, email, and social media accounts.
  3. Strengthen your support system.
  4. Seek professional help from a therapist.
  5. Document any incidents or threats.
  6. Take legal action if necessary.
  7. Protect your personal information and privacy.
  8. Stay vigilant and alert to potential retaliation.
  9. Focus on your own well-being and self-care.

Let’s take a close look at each of these points.

#1. Maintain strict no contact

Minimize contact with the narcissist as much as possible. Establish and maintain a strict no-contact policy to limit their ability to manipulate or harm you further.

This includes blocking their phone number, email address, and social media accounts. Avoid engaging in conversations or interactions that may reignite their desire for revenge.

#2. Seek support from a professional

Consult with a therapist or counselor experienced in narcissistic abuse and personality disorders. A professional can provide guidance, validate your experiences, and help you develop coping strategies to navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissist seeking revenge. They can also assist in rebuilding your self-esteem and understanding your own emotional triggers.

#3. Strengthen your support system

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer understanding, empathy, and support. Surround yourself with a strong support system that can provide validation, perspective, and emotional reassurance during challenging times. Share your experiences and concerns with them, and rely on their support to maintain your emotional well-being.

#4. Document incidents or threats

Maintain a detailed record of any incidents, threats, or manipulative behaviors perpetrated by the narcissist. Document dates, times, and descriptions of interactions or incidents.

This documentation can serve as evidence if legal action becomes necessary and also helps you maintain a clear perspective on the situation. Keep copies of any relevant communication, such as emails, text messages, or social media interactions.

#5. Consider legal action if necessary

If the narcissist’s behavior escalates to the point of endangerment or if they engage in illegal activities, consult with an attorney to explore legal options.

They can guide you through the process and help you protect yourself legally. Legal action may involve obtaining restraining orders, filing for divorce, or pursuing charges related to harassment or defamation, depending on the circumstances.

#6. Strengthen personal security

Take steps to protect your personal information and privacy. Secure your online presence by changing passwords, adjusting privacy settings, and being cautious about sharing sensitive details with individuals who may have connections to the narcissist.

If necessary, consider additional security measures such as installing home security systems or notifying relevant parties about potential risks.

#7. Stay calm and assertive

When interacting with a narcissist seeking revenge, it is crucial to remain calm and assertive. Refrain from engaging in arguments or reacting impulsively, as this can fuel their desire for retaliation. Instead, assert your boundaries firmly and consistently without getting drawn into their games. Maintain a composed demeanor, which can help prevent them from gaining further control over your emotions.

#8. Focus on self-care and well-being

Prioritize your own well-being and self-care. Engage in activities that promote relaxation, reduce stress, and nurture your physical and mental health.

Cultivate self-compassion, set aside time for hobbies and interests, and surround yourself with positive influences. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, helping you regain a sense of self-worth and resilience.

#9. Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse

Empower yourself by learning about narcissistic abuse, manipulation tactics, and the dynamics of narcissistic relationships.

Understanding their patterns of behavior can help you maintain perspective, reduce self-blame, and develop effective strategies for self-protection.

Educate yourself about narcissistic traits, their motivations, and the impact of their behavior on your well-being. This knowledge can equip you with the tools needed to navigate the situation more effectively.

#10. Seek closure within yourself

Accept that you may not receive the closure or acknowledgment you desire from the narcissist. Seek internal closure by focusing on your healing journey and cultivating a sense of self-worth independent of their validation.

Reclaim your power by letting go of the need for their recognition or revenge. Focus on building a fulfilling and positive future for yourself, free from the toxic influence of the narcissist.

Managing the Aftermath of Narcissistic Revenge

Even after dealing with a narcissist seeking revenge, the emotional aftermath can be significant. It is essential to focus on healing and reclaiming your life. Here are some steps to manage the aftermath effectively:

Recognize and manage your emotions

Acknowledge and process the range of emotions that arise from the experience of narcissistic revenge. Allow yourself to grieve the losses, validate your feelings, and seek therapeutic support to navigate the complex emotional aftermath.

A therapist can help you develop coping strategies, rebuild your self-esteem, and work through any trauma resulting from the narcissist’s actions.

Seek professional and personal support

Continue to lean on your support system, which may include therapists, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. Engage in open and honest conversations about your experiences, seeking guidance, validation, and empathy as you heal.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your well-being, helping you rebuild trust and regain a sense of safety.

Prioritize self-care and healing

Place a strong emphasis on self-care activities that promote healing and recovery. This may include engaging in mindfulness practices, pursuing hobbies and interests, practicing self-compassion, and prioritizing your physical and mental well-being.

Allow yourself the time and space needed to heal at your own pace. Engage in activities that nurture your soul, provide solace, and bring joy into your life.


Handling a narcissist who wants revenge can be an arduous journey, but by understanding their behavior, setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing your well-being, you can navigate these difficult situations with resilience and protect yourself from further harm.

Remember, you deserve to live a life free from the manipulations and toxic behavior of others. By focusing on your healing, self-care, and personal growth, you can emerge stronger and reclaim your sense of self-worth and happiness.