How To Trick A Narcissist Into Doing What You Want
How To Trick A Narcissist Into Doing What You Want

Dealing with narcissistic personalities can be challenging, but understanding their psychology and motivations can empower you to influence their behavior effectively. In this article, we will delve into the intriguing world of narcissism, exploring the motivations and vulnerabilities of narcissistic individuals. We will then provide you with actionable strategies, rooted in compassion and empathy, to learn how to trick a narcissist into doing what you want.

The Psychology Behind Influencing Narcissists

Understanding the psychology behind narcissistic individuals is crucial when it comes to influencing their behavior and figuring out how to trick a narcissist into doing what you want. Narcissists possess distinctive traits and vulnerabilities that shape their interactions and responses. In this section, we will explore:

Motivations and Vulnerabilities of Narcissistic Individuals

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often manifests as egocentrism, self-centeredness, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. To effectively influence a narcissist, it’s essential to comprehend their motivations and vulnerabilities:

Egotistical Nature

Narcissists are inherently egotistical, and they prioritize their own needs and desires above all else. They crave constant attention, admiration, and validation to feed their fragile ego.

Arrogance and Haughtiness

Their arrogance and haughtiness stem from an unwavering belief in their superiority. This self-assuredness can be harnessed to your advantage if approached strategically.

Vulnerability to Manipulation

Despite their egotism, narcissists are susceptible to manipulation, especially when their ego and sense of control are at stake. Recognizing this vulnerability is key to influencing them effectively.

Leveraging The Need for Admiration and Validation

Narcissists have an insatiable hunger for admiration and validation. They are driven by a relentless desire to be seen as exceptional. To gain influence, it’s essential to tap into this need:

Flattery as a Tactic

Flattery can be a potent tool when dealing with narcissists. By providing sincere compliments and appreciation, you can pique their interest and make them more receptive to your requests.

Attention and Praise

Offering genuine attention and praise can go a long way in gaining their favor. When they feel valued and admired, they may be more inclined to cooperate with your objectives.

Validation of Their Ideas

Acknowledging and validating their ideas and opinions can build rapport and trust, making it easier to guide their actions in the direction you desire.

How To Trick a Narcissist Into Doing What You Want

In this section, we’ll dive into actionable strategies to effectively influence and navigate interactions with narcissists. Keep in mind that the key to success lies in approaching these strategies with compassion and empathy, while ensuring your desired outcomes are met. So keep reading and learn how to trick a narcissist into doing what you want.

#1. Appeal to Their Ego

Appealing to a narcissist’s ego is often the first step in gaining their cooperation. Let’s explore how to do this effectively:

Identify Their Achievements

Begin by recognizing and acknowledging their accomplishments and qualities. By doing so, you make them feel superior and validated. For instance, if you’re working on a project together, commend their contributions and expertise. Highlight their past successes in relevant areas to set the stage for your request.

Seek Their Expertise

Narcissists love to feel like experts. Asking for their advice or input can be a powerful way to pique their interest and make them more open to your requests. It’s essential to frame the question in a way that suggests you value their opinion and knowledge. By doing this, you tap into their desire to be seen as a wise and influential figure.

#2. Use Flattery

Flattery is a well-known tool for dealing with narcissists, but it must be done genuinely and strategically:

Genuine Compliments

Offer sincere compliments that genuinely reflect their positive qualities or recent achievements. When you make them feel special and appreciated, they are more likely to respond positively to your requests. Be specific in your compliments; vague or insincere flattery may be detected and backfire.

Praising Their Contributions

Acknowledge their role in any shared successes or accomplishments. By attributing part of the credit to their efforts, you stroke their ego and reinforce their sense of importance. Remember that narcissists thrive on recognition, and this can motivate them to support your goals.

#3. Be Assertive but Respectful

Assertiveness is crucial when dealing with narcissists, but it should always be paired with respect and consideration:

Clear Communication

Express your needs and desires clearly and confidently. Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings, which may trigger frustration or resistance. When you communicate your intentions directly and confidently, you set the stage for a more productive interaction.

Set Boundaries

While being assertive, it’s equally important to establish boundaries. Narcissists may test limits, so it’s vital to communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable. Make it clear that your boundaries are non-negotiable, ensuring that your interactions remain respectful and mutually beneficial.

#4. Demonstrate Empathy

Empathy can create a deeper connection with narcissists, fostering a more cooperative attitude:

Active Listening

Practice active listening when engaging with narcissists. Pay close attention to their concerns and emotions, and validate their feelings. Show that you understand their perspective, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it. This validation can help build rapport and trust.

Acknowledge Their Struggles

While narcissists may not readily admit to their vulnerabilities, acknowledging their challenges and difficulties can humanize your interactions. Recognize that everyone faces obstacles, and by doing so, you display empathy and compassion. This can make them more receptive to your requests, as they may perceive you as an ally rather than an adversary.

#5. Offer Incentives

Motivating a narcissist often involves offering incentives to gain their cooperation:


Consider promising rewards or benefits in return for their assistance or compliance. These incentives should align with their interests and desires. For example, if you need their help on a project, you could offer public recognition or credit for their contributions. This can tap into their need for validation and status.

Highlight Mutual Gains

Emphasize how their cooperation can lead to mutually beneficial outcomes. Show how your request benefits not only you but also them. By framing it as a win-win situation, you make it more appealing for the narcissist to collaborate. They are more likely to engage when they see a clear advantage for themselves.

#6. Provide a Win-Win Scenario

Creating a win-win scenario can be a compelling strategy when dealing with narcissists:

Mutual Benefit

Demonstrate how your request benefits both parties. Highlight how their involvement can contribute to their personal goals or aspirations. When narcissists see a chance for personal gain, they are more likely to engage willingly.

Cooperation Benefits

Emphasize how their cooperation can enhance their image or reputation. Narcissists are often concerned about their public perception, so if they believe that working with you will boost their status or influence, they are more likely to lend their support.

#7. Make it Sound Like It Was Their Idea

Harnessing the narcissist’s desire for control can be highly effective:

Suggest, Don’t Demand

When presenting your request, frame it

as a suggestion rather than a demand. Allow them to feel as though they are in control of the decision. This approach can make them more receptive, as they won’t feel coerced into compliance.

Give Them Credit

Throughout the process, give them credit for the success of your plan. Make them believe that it was their brilliance and guidance that led to the positive outcome. By feeding their need for recognition and control, you can motivate them to cooperate willingly.

#8. Make Them Think That They Are Controlling You

Reverse psychology can be a clever strategy to gain their cooperation:

Appear Vulnerable

Temporarily, present yourself as more submissive or dependent in a specific situation. This can trigger their need for control, making them more willing to assist you. It’s important to balance this approach carefully, ensuring that it does not lead to exploitation or abuse.

Seek Their Guidance

Ask for their input on how to handle a particular situation, making them feel like the decision-maker. This approach can satisfy their desire for control while indirectly guiding them towards your desired outcome.

Closing Thoughts

Dealing with narcissistic individuals can be challenging, but with the right strategies and a compassionate approach, you can navigate these interactions successfully. Remember that influencing narcissists involves understanding their motivations, appealing to their ego, and maintaining boundaries. By using flattery, empathy, incentives, and strategic framing, you can achieve your goals while fostering respect and cooperation.

It’s crucial to approach these interactions with empathy and consideration, always striving for mutually beneficial outcomes. With the insights gained from this guide, you’re better equipped to navigate the complex world of narcissism and ensure productive, harmonious interactions with narcissistic individuals.