Ignoring a Narcissist Who Ignores You
Ignoring a Narcissist Who Ignores You

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic (romantic or not), you’re in for a tumultuous ride. The narcissist’s egocentric tendencies, manipulative tactics, and emotional volatility can take a severe toll on your well-being. But what if there was a powerful strategy to not only protect yourself but also regain control of your life?

In this article, we delve into the art of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you. This method, often overlooked, can be a path to personal liberation and emotional healing. Let’s explore how this strategy can help you break free from the chains of narcissistic manipulation and regain your sense of self.

Narcissism – The Basics

Before we delve into the powerful strategy of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you, it’s crucial to establish a solid understanding of narcissism itself and how it intricately intertwines with relationships. This knowledge will serve as the foundation upon which we build our insight into the benefits of such an approach.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism isn’t merely a penchant for admiring one’s reflection in a mirror. It’s a complex personality disorder characterized by an overwhelming preoccupation with oneself, an unquenchable thirst for admiration, and a profound deficit of empathy for others. Narcissism is far more than vanity; it’s a deeply ingrained and pervasive behavioral pattern that can manifest in a multitude of ways.

Common Traits and Behaviors of Narcissists

To navigate the challenging terrain of dealing with narcissists, it’s essential to recognize the common traits and behaviors that define them:

  1. Entitlement: Narcissists genuinely believe that they are extraordinary and deserving of special treatment. This entitlement can lead to unreasonable demands and expectations.
  2. Lack of Empathy: Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is notably absent in narcissists. They struggle to comprehend or care about the emotions and experiences of those around them.
  3. Manipulation: Narcissists are adept manipulators, employing tactics such as gaslighting and triangulation to maintain control over their victims. They use psychological manipulation to keep others in their grip.
  4. Grandiose Self-Image: An inflated sense of self-importance is a hallmark trait of narcissism. They exaggerate their achievements and abilities, often believing they are superior to everyone else.
  5. Exploitative: Narcissists exploit others for their personal gain, whether it’s for emotional support, financial resources, or simply to satisfy their egocentric desires.
  6. Dismissive: The needs and emotions of others are often dismissed by narcissists. They prioritize their own wants and views while disregarding the concerns of those around them.
  7. Egocentric: Narcissists are inherently self-centered. They revolve their lives around their own needs, desires, and gratification, often at the expense of others’ well-being.

How Narcissism Manifests in Relationships

Understanding the manifestation of narcissism within the context of relationships is pivotal in recognizing the imperative need to safeguard your emotional and mental well-being.

Gaslighting: A Psychological Tug of War

Gaslighting is a sinister psychological manipulation tactic employed by narcissists. Through this insidious method, they sow seeds of doubt in your mind, making you question your own perceptions and reality. This leaves you feeling bewildered, vulnerable, and emotionally drained.

Triangulation: Creating Conflicts and Chaos

Narcissists thrive on chaos and conflict. They often employ a tactic known as triangulation, where they purposefully create conflicts or stir jealousy between individuals close to them. This divisive maneuver serves to maintain control over the people involved and garner a continuous supply of attention.

Manipulation: Pulling the Strings

One of the most potent weapons in a narcissist’s arsenal is manipulation. They skillfully use emotional manipulation to keep their partners off balance and submissive. This manipulation can range from guilt-tripping to playing mind games, all designed to maintain control over the relationship.

Victim Blaming: Shifting the Responsibility

In the face of relationship challenges, narcissists rarely take accountability for their actions. Instead, they engage in victim-blaming, shifting the blame onto their partners. This can leave you feeling responsible for the difficulties in the relationship, even when they are clearly the instigators of conflict.

Hoovering: The Relentless Pursuit

Even after a breakup, narcissists may employ a tactic called “hoovering” to draw you back into the tumultuous relationship. They might shower you with attention, apologies, or affection to rekindle the connection. Understanding hoovering is crucial for those seeking to break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse.

The Cycle of Narcissistic Relationships

Understanding the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships is key to comprehending the advantages of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you. In this section, we’ll explore the cyclic nature of such relationships, shedding light on how these patterns manifest and persist.

Love Bombing, Devaluation, and Discard

Narcissistic relationships often follow a pattern that can be broken down into distinct phases: Love Bombing, Devaluation, and Discard.

Love Bombing

During the initial phase of a narcissistic relationship, known as love bombing, the narcissist showers their target with affection, attention, and seemingly boundless love. This intense display of devotion can be overwhelming and exhilarating, making it challenging to see any red flags.


As the relationship progresses, the narcissist gradually transitions into the devaluation phase. They may become critical, emotionally distant, and even cruel. This sudden shift can leave their partner bewildered and hurt, wondering what they did wrong to provoke such a change.


Ultimately, many narcissistic relationships culminate in the discard phase. The narcissist abruptly ends the relationship, often without explanation or remorse. This abrupt abandonment can leave the victim devastated and struggling to make sense of the sudden and heart-wrenching loss.

How Narcissists Use Silent Treatment for Manipulation

One of the most potent weapons in a narcissist’s arsenal is the silent treatment. This form of emotional abuse involves ignoring, avoiding, or refusing to engage with their partner. While it may seem like a simple act of silence, it is a powerful tool used for manipulation.

The narcissist’s silent treatment serves several purposes:

  • Control: By withholding communication and emotional connection, they assert control over their partner’s emotions and actions.
  • Punishment: The silent treatment is often employed as a form of punishment for perceived slights or defiance.
  • Emotional Turmoil: It induces emotional turmoil in the victim, making them question themselves and their actions.
  • Manipulation: Narcissists use the silent treatment to manipulate their partner into compliance, guilt, or a desperate need for their approval.

The Benefits of Ignoring a Narcissist Who Ignores You

Now that we’ve established a solid understanding of narcissism and the tumultuous cycle of narcissistic relationships, let’s delve into the heart of the matter: the benefits of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you. This strategic approach can be a game-changer, offering a path to personal liberation and emotional healing. Here are the profound advantages it can bring:

1. Reduced Emotional Stress

Engaging with a narcissist often leads to heightened emotional stress. Their manipulative behavior, criticism, and emotional volatility can be emotionally exhausting. By ignoring a narcissist who ignores you, you create emotional distance and shield yourself from this relentless stress.

Example: Instead of engaging in a heated argument, you disengage and focus on your own well-being, leading to a significant reduction in stress levels.

2. Regained Emotional Control

Narcissists have a knack for making you feel emotionally out of control. Ignoring them puts the power back in your hands. You decide when and how you engage, regaining emotional stability and control over your reactions.

Example: Rather than reacting to their provocations, you maintain your emotional equilibrium, which can be incredibly empowering.

3. Preservation of Self-Esteem

Constant criticism and devaluation from a narcissist can erode your self-esteem over time. Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you helps protect your self-worth by preventing their hurtful words from affecting your self-perception.

Example: By ignoring their hurtful comments, you preserve your self-esteem and self-respect.

4. Reestablishing Boundaries

Narcissists often push boundaries and disrespect personal limits. Ignoring them allows you to reestablish and reinforce your boundaries, sending a clear message that their behavior is unacceptable.

Example: You communicate your boundaries firmly and consistently, teaching the narcissist to respect your limits.

5. Increased Independence

When you break free from the cycle of constant engagement with a narcissist, you gain independence. You’re no longer reliant on their validation or approval, which fosters self-sufficiency.

Example: You start making decisions based on your own needs and desires rather than seeking the narcissist’s validation.

6. Ability to Think Clearly (Again)

Engaging with a narcissist can cloud your judgment and decision-making. Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you gives you space to think clearly and rationally.

Example: You can evaluate situations objectively without the emotional turmoil caused by the narcissist’s manipulations.

7. Breaking the Cycle of Manipulation and Control

Ignoring a narcissist disrupts their manipulative tactics. When they realize their tactics are no longer effective, they may be prompted to change their behavior, or they may eventually lose interest.

Example: By not responding to their attempts at manipulation, you dismantle their control over you.

8. Recovery from Emotional Abuse

Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you is a significant step toward healing from emotional abuse. It allows you to distance yourself from the abuser and begin the healing process.

Example: Seeking therapy and support groups can be more effective when you’re not constantly subjected to the narcissist’s abuse.

9. Opportunity for Personal Growth

With the emotional space created by ignoring the narcissist, you have the opportunity to focus on personal growth and self-improvement.

Example: You can explore new interests, hobbies, or educational pursuits that nurture your personal development.

10. Improved Mental Health

Reducing your interaction with a narcissist can significantly improve your mental health. It can alleviate anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues exacerbated by the toxic relationship.

Example: Seeking therapy or counseling can be more effective when you’re not constantly subjected to the narcissist’s manipulation.

11. Empowerment

Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you empowers you to take control of your life and set the terms of your interactions. This empowerment is crucial for your overall well-being.

Example: You decide when and how you engage with the narcissist, giving you a sense of agency.

12. Reconnection with Support Network

Narcissists often isolate their victims from friends and family. Ignoring them allows you to reconnect with your support network, strengthening your emotional resilience.

Example: Rebuilding relationships with friends and family members who were pushed away during the relationship.

13. Detoxification from Emotional Roller Coaster

The constant ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship can feel like an emotional roller coaster. Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you allows you to step off that ride and regain emotional stability.

Example: Your emotions become more consistent, and you experience fewer extreme highs and lows.

14. Improved Self-Image

By ignoring the narcissist’s attempts to diminish your self-worth, you can work on improving your self-image and self-confidence.

Example: Engaging in self-affirming practices like positive self-talk and self-care can boost your self-image.

15. The Chance to Focus on Your Needs

Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you ultimately frees you up to prioritize your own needs and well-being, which is a crucial step towards personal happiness and fulfillment.

Example: You start dedicating more time and energy to self-care, nurturing your physical and emotional health.

Closing Thoughts

In the tumultuous journey of navigating a relationship with a narcissist, the strategy of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you emerges as a beacon of hope. It’s a path toward healing, self-preservation, and personal growth. By distancing yourself from the manipulative grasp of a narcissist, you regain control over your emotions, rebuild your self-esteem, and pave the way for a brighter future.

Remember, you are not alone on this path. Seeking support from therapists, counselors, or support groups can be instrumental in your healing journey. Surround yourself with people who understand your struggles and can offer guidance and empathy.

In the face of narcissistic manipulation and emotional abuse, choosing to ignore can be an act of self-love and self-preservation. It’s a declaration that your well-being matters, and you deserve a life free from toxicity. Embrace the benefits of ignoring a narcissist who ignores you, and embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.