Navigating relationships in the digital age comes with its own set of challenges, especially when dealing with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. One area where these traits manifest prominently is in narcissist texting habits. Understanding these behaviors can empower you to maintain boundaries and protect your emotional well-being.
In this article, we’ll delve into weird narcissist texting habits, shedding light on their manipulative tactics and providing insights on how to effectively deal with them. Whether you’re dealing with a partner, friend, or family member, recognizing and addressing these behaviors is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.
21 Weird Narcissist Texting Habits
Navigating communication with a narcissist through texting can feel like walking through a minefield. Their behaviors often leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and manipulated. Let’s explore some of the most common narcissist texting habits:
#1. Excessive Self-Promotion
Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, and texting provides them with the perfect platform to showcase their perceived superiority. They often use every opportunity to boast about their achievements, possessions, or talents.
Whether it’s a subtle brag or a blatant display of grandiosity, every conversation with a narcissist seems to revolve around them. For example, if you share good news, they might respond with a self-centered remark or redirect the conversation back to themselves.
#2. Ignoring Your Texts
One of the most infuriating habits of narcissists is their selective responsiveness to your messages. They may respond promptly when it aligns with their agenda or feeds their ego, but conveniently ignore your texts or delay responding when it doesn’t serve their interests.
This inconsistency leaves you feeling disregarded and unimportant, further reinforcing their sense of superiority. For instance, they might read your message and choose not to respond, leaving you waiting and wondering about their intentions.
#3. One-Sided Conversations
In a narcissist’s world, conversations are rarely two-way streets. They dominate the dialogue, rarely showing genuine interest in your thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Your texts may be met with short, dismissive replies or completely disregarded altogether.
Even when they do respond, their messages are often superficial and lack empathy or understanding. This one-sided communication pattern leaves you feeling invalidated and unseen, as if your thoughts and emotions don’t matter to them. For example, they might ignore your questions or concerns and instead steer the conversation back to themselves.
#4. Double Standards
Narcissists often apply double standards when it comes to texting. They expect you to respond to their messages promptly but feel entitled to take their time or ignore yours altogether. This unequal dynamic reinforces their sense of superiority and control, as they dictate the terms of communication based on their own needs and desires. For instance, they might become upset or indignant if you don’t reply to their texts immediately, yet they feel justified in leaving your messages unanswered for hours or even days.
#5. Playing Text Games
Texting with a narcissist can feel like playing a never-ending game of cat and mouse. They may deliberately delay their responses, send cryptic messages, or employ other manipulative tactics to keep you guessing and off balance. Narcissist text games are actually mind games and they serve to maintain their power and control over you, as they derive pleasure from watching you squirm and scramble for their attention. For example, they might intentionally ignore your texts for hours and then suddenly respond with a vague or ambiguous message, leaving you feeling anxious and uncertain about where you stand.
#6. Manipulative Language
Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and they often use language as a tool to control and manipulate others through texting. They may employ subtle tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or using flattery to get what they want. So, beware of such red flags in a narcissists texts.
Their messages may be carefully crafted to evoke certain emotions or elicit specific responses from you. For example, they might use phrases like “You’re the only one who understands me” or “I don’t know what I’d do without you” to manipulate you into feeling obligated to them.
#7. Sending Hoovering Texts
Hoovering is a tactic used by narcissists to suck you back into a relationship or interaction after you’ve tried to distance yourself from them. Narcissist hoover texts often come out of the blue, usually when they sense that you’re pulling away or moving on.
They may use apologies, promises of change, or declarations of love to reel you back in. However, it’s important to recognize that these messages are usually empty gestures meant to manipulate and control you, rather than genuine expressions of remorse or affection.
#8. Sending ‘Good Morning’ Texts
While receiving a “Good Morning” text may seem like a sweet gesture, coming from a narcissist, it’s often a way to assert control and maintain their hold over you. These texts may seem innocent on the surface, but they serve as a means for the narcissist to ensure that you’re thinking about them first thing in the morning. It’s a subtle way for them to reinforce their importance in your life and keep themselves at the forefront of your thoughts and attention.
#9. Love-Bombing
Love-bombing is a common tactic used by narcissists to quickly gain your affection and trust. Through texting, they may inundate you with excessive compliments, declarations of love, and promises of a future together. They may shower you with attention and affection, making you feel like the center of their universe. However, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is often manipulative and insincere, designed to hook you in and manipulate you emotionally.
#10. Texting From Different Numbers
Narcissists are known for their deceptive and manipulative behavior, and texting from different numbers is just one of the many ways they may try to evade detection or maintain control. They may use burner phones or messaging apps to hide their identity and carry on multiple conversations simultaneously.
This allows them to maintain a sense of mystery and intrigue while keeping you on your toes. If you notice that someone is constantly texting you from different numbers or accounts, it may be a red flag indicating manipulative behavior.
#11. Constant Validation Seeking
Narcissists have an insatiable need for validation and attention, and they often use texting as a means to fulfill this need. They may bombard you with messages seeking reassurance, compliments, or validation of their worth. No matter how much you give, it never seems to be enough to satisfy their endless hunger for affirmation. Their constant validation-seeking behavior can be draining and exhausting, as you find yourself constantly having to reassure them of their value and worth.
#12. Playing the Victim
Despite their outward confidence and grandiosity, narcissists often play the victim card to manipulate and guilt-trip others through texting. They may paint themselves as the innocent party in any conflict or disagreement, deflecting blame onto others and portraying themselves as the one who’s been wronged. Their messages may be filled with self-pity, melodrama, and exaggerated tales of woe, all designed to elicit sympathy and support from you.
#13. Criticizing and Judging
Narcissists have a tendency to be hypercritical and judgmental of others, and this behavior often extends to their texting habits. They may use text messages as a platform to criticize, belittle, or pass judgment on your actions, choices, or opinions.
No matter what you do or say, it never seems to be good enough for them, and they’re quick to point out your perceived flaws or shortcomings. Their critical and judgmental messages can chip away at your self-esteem and confidence over time, leaving you feeling insecure and inadequate.
#14. Triangulation
Triangulation is a manipulation tactic commonly used by narcissists to create jealousy, rivalry, or tension between individuals. Through texting, they may subtly or overtly compare you to others, either by mentioning past relationships, friendships, or other potential love interests. They may use triangulation to make you feel insecure or uncertain about your place in their life, keeping you on edge and vying for their attention and approval.
#15. Ghosting and Silent Treatment
Perhaps one of the most hurtful and frustrating narcissist texting habits is their tendency to suddenly disappear or give you the silent treatment without explanation. They may ignore your messages for days or even weeks on end, leaving you feeling abandoned, confused, and desperate for closure.
This silent treatment is often used as a means of punishment or control, as they seek to assert their dominance and superiority over you. Despite your attempts to reach out and reconcile, they remain elusive and unresponsive, leaving you feeling rejected and alone.
#16. Impersonal Communication
Narcissists often struggle to form genuine emotional connections with others, leading to impersonal and detached communication through texting. Their messages may lack warmth, empathy, or genuine interest in your well-being, making you feel like you’re talking to a robot rather than a real person.
They may use generic or copy-pasted responses, failing to acknowledge or respond to the specific details or emotions you’ve shared with them. This impersonal communication can leave you feeling lonely and unimportant, as if your feelings and experiences don’t matter to them.
#17. Excessive Emojis and Emoticons
While emojis and emoticons can add a playful or expressive element to texting, narcissists often use them excessively or inappropriately to manipulate and control the tone of the conversation. They may use emojis to convey false emotions or mask their true intentions, hiding behind smiley faces or hearts to disguise their manipulative behavior. Their excessive use of emojis can feel forced and insincere, making it difficult to gauge their true feelings or intentions.
#18. Exaggerated Stories
Narcissists have a tendency to embellish or exaggerate their stories and experiences, and this behavior often extends to their texting habits. They may use hyperbolic language or fabricate details to make themselves appear more impressive, successful, or interesting than they really are.
Their messages may be filled with tall tales and grandiose claims, leaving you questioning the validity of their words and the authenticity of their character. Their exaggerated stories can be both entertaining and frustrating, as you struggle to separate fact from fiction in their texts.
#19. Lack of Empathy
Empathy is a fundamental component of healthy communication and relationships, but narcissists often lack this essential trait. Their texts may be devoid of empathy or understanding, as they struggle to relate to your emotions or perspective. They may dismiss or minimize your feelings, offering shallow or insincere reassurances instead of genuine empathy and support. This lack of empathy can leave you feeling invalidated and misunderstood, as if your emotions don’t matter to them.
#20. Hoarding Information
Narcissists often use information as a tool to manipulate and control others through texting. They may hoard information, selectively sharing or withholding details to maintain power and leverage in the relationship. They may use information as a bargaining chip, threatening to reveal embarrassing or sensitive details if you don’t comply with their demands. Their manipulation tactics can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed, as if your privacy and autonomy are constantly under threat.
#21. Sudden Disappearances
Perhaps one of the most baffling and frustrating narcissist texting habits is their tendency to disappear suddenly and without warning. They may be engaged in a lively conversation one moment and then vanish into thin air the next, leaving you wondering what happened and why they’ve gone silent.
Their sudden disappearances can trigger feelings of anxiety and insecurity, as you’re left to speculate about their motives and intentions. Despite your attempts to reach out and reconnect, they remain elusive and unresponsive, leaving you feeling abandoned and confused.
Now that you know some of the weird narcissist texting habits, take a look at over 200 examples of narcissist text messages that following these weird habits. When done, let’s move to the next section where we’ll see strategies to deal with narcissist texting habits.
How to Deal with Narcissist Texting Habits
Dealing with narcissist texting habits can be challenging, but it’s essential to protect your emotional well-being and set boundaries. Here are some strategies to help you navigate interactions with narcissists and figure out how to respond to a narcissist text.
#1. Establish Texting Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with narcissists. Let them know what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable in your communication, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries consistently. For example, you may decide to limit the frequency or duration of your text conversations or establish guidelines for respectful communication.
#2. Use Brevity and Clarity
When texting with a narcissist, it’s best to keep your messages brief and to the point. Avoid getting drawn into lengthy or emotionally charged conversations, as this only gives them more opportunities to manipulate and control you. Stick to the facts and avoid getting bogged down in unnecessary details or drama.
#3. Avoid Emotional Engagement
Narcissists thrive on drama and emotional turmoil, so it’s essential to avoid getting emotionally entangled in their games. Stay calm and composed in your interactions, and don’t let their provocative or manipulative messages rile you up. Remember that their goal is to elicit a reaction from you, so by remaining emotionally detached, you take away their power.
#4. Document Conversations
Keeping a record of your text conversations with a narcissist can be helpful for several reasons. It allows you to track patterns of behavior and manipulation, provides evidence of their mistreatment if you need to seek support or intervention, and helps you maintain clarity and perspective when dealing with gaslighting or other forms of manipulation.
#5. Stay Calm and Emotionally Detached
Maintaining your composure and emotional detachment is essential when dealing with narcissists through texting. Don’t let their provocative or hurtful messages get under your skin, and resist the urge to retaliate or engage in arguments. Remember that their goal is to provoke a reaction from you, so by staying calm and collected, you rob them of the satisfaction they seek.
#6. Limit Response Time
Setting limits on how quickly you respond to narcissist texts can help you maintain control and autonomy in the interaction. Instead of dropping everything to respond immediately, take your time to formulate a thoughtful and measured response. By delaying your reply, you prevent the narcissist from dictating the pace of the conversation and assert your independence.
#7. Avoid Engaging in Their Games
Narcissists love to play mind games and manipulate others for their own amusement. To avoid getting sucked into their toxic dynamic, refrain from participating in their games. Don’t take the bait when they try to provoke you or push your buttons, and instead, disengage from the interaction altogether. By refusing to play along, you deny them the satisfaction they seek and maintain your power and autonomy.
#8. Block or Mute When Necessary
If a narcissist’s texts become too overwhelming or toxic to handle, don’t hesitate to block or mute them on your phone or messaging apps. This action allows you to create a safe space for yourself and protect your mental and emotional well-being. It’s essential to prioritize your own needs and boundaries, even if it means cutting off contact with the narcissist completely.
#9. Seek Support
Dealing with a narcissist’s manipulative texting habits can take a toll on your mental health, so don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Talk to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can offer validation, guidance, and perspective. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissist and provide you with the strength and resilience to assert your boundaries.
#10. Set a Personal Limit
Knowing your limits and sticking to them is essential when dealing with narcissist texting habits. Decide how much time and energy you’re willing to invest in interacting with them, and stick to those limits no matter what. Whether it’s limiting the frequency of your conversations, setting a time limit for how long you’ll engage with them, or establishing consequences for boundary violations, setting personal limits empowers you to take control of the situation and protect your well-being.
Closing Thoughts
Navigating narcissist texting habits can be a daunting task, but by understanding their manipulative tactics and setting firm boundaries, you can protect yourself and maintain your emotional well-being. Remember to prioritize self-care, seek support when needed, and stay true to yourself.
By asserting your boundaries and refusing to engage in their games, you reclaim your power and autonomy in the relationship. Trust your instincts and surround yourself with people who respect and validate your feelings. With patience, resilience, and self-awareness, you can navigate the complexities of dealing with narcissists and emerge stronger and more empowered than ever before.