Narcissistic Mother Narcissistic Daughter
Narcissistic Mother Narcissistic Daughter

The relationship between a narcissistic mother and a narcissistic daughter can be complex and challenging. Both individuals exhibit narcissistic traits that can greatly impact their interactions and overall well-being.

In this article, we will delve into the dynamics of the narcissistic mother narcissistic daughter relationship, exploring the traits and behaviors of narcissistic mothers and daughters. Furthermore, we will provide valuable insights and coping strategies to help both parties navigate this intricate dynamic and work towards healing and personal growth.

Understanding Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism refers to an excessive preoccupation with oneself, one’s needs, and an inflated sense of self-importance. Individuals with narcissistic traits often crave admiration and display a lack of empathy towards others. Their behavior revolves around the constant pursuit of attention, validation, and admiration from those around them.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

People with NPD often exhibit an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a tendency to exploit and manipulate others for their own gain. It is important to note that not all individuals with narcissistic traits have NPD, but they share similar behavioral patterns.

Narcissistic Mothers: Traits and Behaviors

Definition and Characteristics of a Narcissistic Mother

A narcissistic mother is a parent who displays an excessive preoccupation with herself, her needs, and her image. She often seeks validation and attention from others and expects her children to fulfill her emotional needs. Some common characteristics of narcissistic mothers include:

  • Emotional Security Blankets: Narcissistic mothers use their children as emotional security blankets, expecting them to meet their emotional needs and provide constant validation.
  • Manipulation: They are skilled manipulators, using various tactics to control and influence their children’s thoughts, emotions, and actions.
  • Criticism and Envy: Narcissistic mothers often criticize their daughters, displaying envy towards their achievements or perceived successes.
  • Resentment: They may harbor deep resentment towards their daughters if they feel overshadowed or threatened by their accomplishments.
  • Damage to Self-Esteem: The constant criticism and unrealistic expectations of a narcissistic mother can severely damage her daughter’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Impact of Narcissistic Mother on the Daughter

Growing up with a narcissistic mother can have profound effects on a daughter’s emotional well-being and sense of self. Some common impacts include:

  • Validation Seeking: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may develop a relentless need for external validation, constantly seeking approval and validation from others.
  • Low Self-Esteem: The constant criticism and invalidation experienced can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth and low self-esteem.
  • Boundary Difficulties: Daughters may struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships due to the lack of boundary respect in their relationship with their mother.
  • People-Pleasing Behavior: To gain the approval and acceptance they desperately seek, daughters of narcissistic mothers may adopt people-pleasing behaviors, neglecting their own needs and desires.
  • Self-Doubt and Perfectionism: The perfectionistic standards set by a narcissistic mother can lead to self-doubt and a relentless pursuit of perfection.

Common Patterns and Dynamics

In the relationship between a narcissistic mother and daughter, (narcissistic or otherwise) certain patterns and dynamics often emerge. These can include:

  • Favoritism and Sibling Rivalry: A narcissistic mother may exhibit favoritism towards one child over another, creating a sense of competition and resentment between siblings.
  • High Expectations: Daughters are expected to meet unrealistic standards and fulfill their mother’s desires and expectations, often at the expense of their own needs.
  • Emotional Rollercoaster: The emotional atmosphere in a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship can be unpredictable, with frequent mood swings, intense criticism, and emotional outbursts.

Narcissistic Daughters: Understanding the Dynamic

Overview of Narcissistic Daughter Phenomenon

Since the focus of this article is on the narcissistic mother narcissistic relationship, we need to also look at daughters who also exhibit narcissistic traits. In some cases, a narcissistic daughter may develop these traits as a response to the dynamics within her relationship with her mother.

Causes and Development of Narcissistic Traits in Daughters

The development of narcissistic traits in daughters can be influenced by various factors, including:

  • Modeling Behavior: Daughters learn and internalize their mother’s narcissistic behavior, adopting similar patterns as a means of coping or gaining control in their own lives.
  • Enmeshment or Neglect: Daughters may develop narcissistic traits as a defense mechanism in response to enmeshment (over-involvement) or neglect from their mother.
  • Lack of Empathy: The absence of empathy in the relationship with their narcissistic mother can inhibit the daughter’s ability to empathize with others, contributing to the development of narcissistic traits.

Interactions and Conflicts between Narcissistic Mother and Narcissistic Daughter

Interactions between a narcissistic mother and daughter are often marked by power struggles, conflicts, and emotional volatility. Some common dynamics include:

  • Competition for Attention: Both mother and daughter may engage in attention-seeking behaviors, leading to clashes and conflicts.
  • Role Reversal: In some cases, the daughter may become the caregiver or emotional support for her narcissistic mother, reversing traditional parent-child roles.
  • Lack of Emotional Connection: The relationship may lack genuine emotional connection and nurturing, with both parties prioritizing their own needs and desires over each other’s.

Healing and Coping Strategies

Recognizing the Problem: Identifying Narcissistic Traits

The first step towards healing in a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship is recognizing and acknowledging the presence of narcissistic traits. This self-awareness allows for a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play and the impact on both individuals.

Seeking Professional Help: Therapy and Support

Therapy can be instrumental in navigating the complexities of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship. A trained mental health professional can provide guidance, support, and strategies to cope with the challenges and promote healing.

Setting Boundaries and Self-Care for Daughters

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for the daughter’s well-being. This includes identifying and communicating personal needs, asserting oneself, and setting limits on interactions with the narcissistic mother.

Nurturing Emotional Well-being: Rebuilding Self-Esteem

Daughters can work towards rebuilding their self-esteem and developing a strong sense of self-worth. This can be achieved through self-compassion, self-care practices, and engaging in activities that foster personal growth and fulfillment.


Navigating a narcissistic mother narcissistic daughter relationship is a complex journey that requires understanding, self-awareness, and active intervention. By recognizing the traits and behaviors of narcissistic mothers and narcissistic daughters, those in the relationship can begin to heal, establish healthier boundaries, and foster their emotional well-being.

Seeking professional help and implementing coping strategies can empower daughters to break free from the cycle of narcissism and cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Remember, healing takes time and effort, but with determination and support, both the narcissistic mother and daughter can embark on a path of growth, self-discovery, and personal transformation.