Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, to say the least. Their words and actions often leave us baffled, hurt, and wondering if we’re the ones who are crazy. One of the hallmarks of narcissistic behavior is the things they say.
From grandiose self-exaggerations to manipulative guilt trips, narcissists have a unique way of communicating that can leave us feeling confused and invalidated. In this article, we’ll explore 60 weird things a narcissist would say, and more importantly, how to respond to them.
Understanding these phrases can help you maintain your sanity and protect your emotional well-being in any relationship with a narcissist. And it can help you craft your own phrases to disarm the narcissist.
60 Weird Things a Narcissist Would Say (and How to Respond)
#1. Self-Exaggeration
- “I’m the most successful person you’ll ever meet.”
Response: “It’s great to have confidence in yourself, but everyone has their own definition of success. Let’s focus on supporting each other’s goals.” - “I never make mistakes.”
Response: “We all make mistakes; it’s a natural part of learning and growing. Let’s embrace our imperfections and strive for improvement together.” - “I’m the best at everything I do.”
Response: “It’s wonderful to feel confident, but it’s also important to stay humble. Let’s celebrate each other’s accomplishments without comparison.” - “I’m always right.”
Response: “We all have different perspectives. It’s important to listen to each other and find common ground.” - “Nobody else could do what I do.”
Response: “You have unique talents, but everyone has their own strengths. Let’s appreciate each other’s abilities.”
#2. Gaslighting and Denial
- “I never said that. You must be remembering it wrong.”
Response: “I recall it differently, but let’s try to understand each other’s perspectives. Can we discuss this calmly?” - “You’re overreacting. It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be.”
Response: “I understand we may see things differently, but my feelings are valid. Let’s talk about how we can address this issue together.” - “You’re imagining things. That never happened.”
Response: “I’m certain of what I experienced. Let’s work together to understand what happened.” - “You’re just trying to make me look bad.”
Response: “I’m expressing my feelings honestly. Let’s focus on finding a solution that works for both of us.” - “You’re too sensitive.”
Response: “I have valid emotions, and it’s important for us to communicate respectfully. Let’s find a way to address our differences.”
#3. Manipulative Love and Affection
- “I love you more than anyone else ever could.”
Response: “I appreciate your feelings, but love shouldn’t be used to manipulate. Let’s build trust through honesty and respect.” - “If you leave me, I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t live without you.”
Response: “It’s important for both of us to be happy and healthy. Let’s work on our relationship together, but not out of fear.” - “You’re the only one who understands me.”
Response: “I value our connection, but it’s important for me to have other supportive relationships too. Let’s work on building a strong support network together.” - “I’ll do anything for you. You’re my everything.”
Response: “I appreciate your affection, but it’s important for us to maintain healthy boundaries. Let’s focus on building a balanced relationship.” - “You’re so lucky to have me.”
Response: “I value our relationship, but luck has nothing to do with it. Let’s continue to support each other and grow together.”
#4. Guilt and Obligation
- “If you loved me, you’d do this for me without question.”
Response: “I care about you, but guilt-tripping isn’t a healthy way to express needs. Let’s find a mutually beneficial solution.” - “After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”
Response: “I appreciate your efforts, but it’s not healthy to keep score in a relationship. Let’s focus on understanding each other’s needs.” - “You owe me.”
Response: “I believe in reciprocity in relationships, but let’s discuss our expectations openly and find a fair solution.” - “I sacrificed so much for you.”
Response: “I appreciate your sacrifices, but it’s important for us to support each other without resentment. Let’s communicate openly about our needs.” - “You’re selfish for not putting me first.”
Response: “Self-care is important for both of us. Let’s find a balance that respects both of our needs.”
#5. Comparison and Criticism
- “Why can’t you be more like [someone else]? They always know what to do.”
Response: “I’m me, and I’m learning and growing. Let’s focus on supporting each other’s unique qualities.” - “You’re not as good as you think you are.”
Response: “I’m confident in my abilities, and I’m always working to improve. Let’s encourage each other’s growth instead of tearing each other down.” - “You’ll never be able to do that.”
Response: “I believe in my potential and will work towards my goals. Your support would mean a lot to me.” - “You’re not as smart as you think you are.”
Response: “I value my intelligence and strive to learn more. Let’s focus on positive communication.” - “I don’t know why anyone would like you.”
Response: “Everyone has different qualities they appreciate in others. Let’s focus on building each other up.”
#6. Victimhood and Pity-Seeking
- “Nobody understands how hard my life is.”
Response: “I hear that you’re struggling, and I’m here to listen. Let’s work together to find ways to support you.” - “I’m always the one who gets hurt in this relationship.”
Response: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. Let’s talk about how we can create a more balanced and supportive relationship.” - “I can’t believe you would do this to me after everything I’ve been through.”
Response: “I understand you’re going through a tough time, but it’s important for us to communicate openly and respectfully. Let’s find a way to address this together.” - “I’m just a victim of circumstance.”
Response: “It’s tough to feel like things are out of your control. Let’s work on finding ways to empower you to take charge of your life.” - “Nobody cares about me.”
Response: “I care about you and your well-being. Let’s talk about how we can support you together.”
#7. Control and Manipulation
- “You should do what I say without question.”
Response: “I believe in discussing decisions together and finding solutions that work for both of us. Let’s talk about this.” - “I know what’s best for you.”
Response: “I appreciate your concern, but I know myself best. Let’s work together to find the best solution.” - “If you don’t do what I want, there will be consequences.”
Response: “Threats aren’t a healthy way to communicate. Let’s find a way to address this issue without resorting to ultimatums.” - “You have to ask my permission before doing anything.”
Response: “I believe in mutual respect and trust. Let’s discuss our decisions together.” - “I control the money, so you have to listen to me.”
Response: “Financial decisions should be made together. Let’s work on a budget that works for both of us.”
#8. Isolation and Alienation
- “You shouldn’t spend time with your friends; they’re a bad influence.”
Response: “I value my friendships and believe they enrich my life. Let’s find a balance that respects both of our social needs.” - “Your family doesn’t understand us, so you should stop talking to them.”
Response: “Family is important to me, and I value their support. Let’s find a way to include them in our lives.” - “You don’t need anyone else but me.”
Response: “I value our relationship, but I also value other meaningful connections in my life. Let’s work on supporting each other’s relationships.” - “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t need anyone else.”
Response: “I believe in having a supportive network of friends and family. Let’s work on building a strong support system together.” - “I’m the only one who understands you; everyone else is against us.”
Response: “I appreciate your support, but I also value the perspectives of others in my life. Let’s work on finding common ground with others.”
#9. Grandiose Future Promises
- “I’ll make you the happiest person in the world.”
Response: “I appreciate your intentions, but happiness comes from within. Let’s work on building a happy life together.” - “We’ll be rich and famous one day.”
Response: “It’s great to have goals, but let’s focus on realistic and achievable steps to success.” - “I’ll give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
Response: “Material things are nice, but true fulfillment comes from meaningful experiences and connections. Let’s focus on those.” - “We’ll travel the world and live a life of luxury.”
Response: “Traveling and luxury are great, but let’s also focus on building a stable and fulfilling life together.” - “I’ll take care of everything; you won’t have to lift a finger.”
Response: “I appreciate your intentions, but I believe in sharing responsibilities in a relationship. Let’s work on this together.”
#10. Shifting Blame and Avoiding Responsibility
- “It’s not my fault; you made me do it.”
Response: “It’s important to take responsibility for our actions. Let’s discuss how we can address this issue together.” - “I wouldn’t have to act this way if you were more understanding.”
Response: “I want to understand your perspective, but it’s important to express your feelings in a healthy way. Let’s work on our communication together.” - “You’re the reason things aren’t working out.”
Response: “Relationships require effort from both parties. Let’s talk about how we can improve our relationship together.” - “I’m not responsible for your feelings.”
Response: “While we’re each responsible for our own feelings, it’s important to consider how our actions affect each other. Let’s work on empathizing with each other.” - “You’re too sensitive; I was just joking.”
Response: “Humor is subjective, and it’s important to be mindful of each other’s feelings. Let’s work on communicating more clearly.”
#11. Threats and Intimidation
- “If you leave me, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Response: “Threats aren’t a healthy way to address issues in a relationship. Let’s work on communicating openly and respectfully.” - “You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
Response: “I want to address our issues calmly and respectfully. Let’s find a way to work through this together.” - “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll ruin your life.”
Response: “I want to find a solution that works for both of us. Let’s discuss this calmly and respectfully.” - “I’ll make sure everyone knows what you’re really like.”
Response: “It’s important to address issues privately and respectfully. Let’s find a way to resolve this between us.” - “You’ll regret it if you ever cross me.”
Response: “I want to work through our issues in a healthy way. Let’s find a way to communicate and resolve this together.”
#12. Mocking and Sarcasm
- “You’re so smart; I never would have thought of that.”
Response: “I value your input, but sarcasm isn’t a constructive way to communicate. Let’s talk about our thoughts openly.” - “Wow, you’re really good at this. Not.”
Response: “I’m open to constructive feedback, but sarcasm isn’t helpful. Let’s communicate respectfully.” - “Aren’t you just the funniest person alive?”
Response: “I appreciate humor, but it’s important to be respectful. Let’s focus on positive communication.” - “You’re such a genius; I can’t keep up with your brilliance.”
Response: “I value your perspective, but let’s communicate without sarcasm. It’s important to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.”
Closing Thoughts
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and challenging, but understanding their behaviors and knowing how to respond can help you maintain your sanity and protect your well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in any relationship.
Setting boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals, and prioritizing your mental health are essential steps in dealing with narcissistic behavior. By recognizing these weird things a narcissist would say and responding assertively yet compassionately, you can navigate these challenging interactions with greater ease and confidence.